I’m Eighteen!

I’m Eighteen, by Alice Cooper

Lines form on my face and hands lines form from the ups and downs
I’m in the middle without any plans I’m a boy and I’m a man
I’m eighteen and I don’t know what I want eighteen I just don’t know what I want
Eighteen I gotta get away I gotta get out of this place I’ll go runnin’ in outer space oh yeah
I got a baby’s brain and an old man’s heart took eighteen years to get this far
Don’t always know what I’m talkin’ about feels like I’m livin’ in the middle of doubt
’cause I’m eighteen I get confused every day eighteen I just don’t know what to say eighteen I gotta get away
Whoa lines form on my face and my hands lines form on the left and right
I’m in the middle the middle of life I’m a boy and I’m a man
I’m eighteen and I like it yes I like it oh I like it love it like it love it
Eighteen eighteen eighteen eighteen and I like it

 

Well, is it just me or do we all feel this way when we’re eighteen? I think this problem is so underestimated and so ignored because it is normal. Because everyone has to go through this transition; from doing everything simply because you have to, to having to decide what you want to do because you have both total freedom and total responsibility. And we believe it is the most critical time in our lives! We really do. And we are confident that the decisions we make during this time will be straight-on transcendental. But I have been told, well I actually read it in Paul Graham’s essay “What You’ll Wish You’d Known” that it is not only probable, but also likely that what we now wish and decide to do for the rest of our lives, will be incompatible to what we actually end up doing.

And yes, choosing our career path is extremely stressful and aggravating. But it is certainly not the only doubt we have at the time. I, I am completely lost on almost every aspect of my life! Who am I? What do I believe in? What am I capable of doing? What are my dreams? Do I even appreciate myself? And this questions keep arising and, as they accumulate, they stop being soft, slow whispers and they become abrupt screams of desperation. What do I do?! That are probably not even waiting for an answer anymore, for they simply slipped away because my being could not contain them anymore. Where do I go?! They lose their structure and transform to words, just words demanding to know the answer of an unasked question. Priorities?! Future?! Present?!!

                       “Don’t always know what I’m talkin’ about feels like I’m livin’ in the middle of doubt ’cause I’m eighteen I get confused every day “

Alice Cooper could not have been more correct on this subject and on the expression of this feeling. It’s like standing in a forest, a beautiful but scary one, and having no idea were to go, and having no idea why you are there. And not even thinking that you should stop worrying about what you are supposed to do, and start thinking about you and only you.

Leave behind the structured life that society has for us, which is elementary school, middle school, high school, university, start of career, meeting the love of your life, realizing it is the love of your life, marrying, continue having a career, have a family, and if you are aware of how society truly suggests an order in our lives -as if everything was programmed to happen at a certain time in our lives- then you know how the line continues. But it is essential to know that even if society tends to impose ideas, what it has to say about the structure and course of people’s lives is no other than a suggestion. It is only a suggestions because, even if you’ve heard it before, you can control your life! It just happens that we are distracted by concepts like fate and external obstacles and influences. But in the end, I think we are all bound to realize that we have always had power and control over our lives.

But even if I am trying to figure things out through my writing, I am still eighteen. “I’m a boy and I’m a man”, well, a girl and woman. I still live in an atmosphere of doubts and confusion. I still don’t know what I want and I want to run, but where should I head up to? And I am eighteen and I do love it. I love it because with the few weeks I have spent being eighteen I can tell that this will be a year not only of doubt but also of seeking for the answer, which will just push my mind to places I don’t go yet, and I know I can go, and I want to go, and I have to go. It will be a year of finding maturity within youth, which I found beautiful and important in any year of a person’s life, being eighteen or eighty years old!

                           “I’m eighteen and I like it yes I like it oh I like it love it like it love it; Eighteen eighteen eighteen eighteen and I like it”
 
 
Curious about Paul Graham’s speech? Check it out –>http://www.paulgraham.com/hs.html?dsq=33146195/
 

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